Celebrate in style

A present to myself: Thunderbolt Super Star earrings by Spott and Herbert

I’m so glad I didn’t cancel my book party.

Bringing wonderful people together in a moment of celebration, with all of my hard work and achievement at the centre, felt incredible.

It also felt surreal to essentially be saying: ‘I’ve done something brilliant – look at me.’

But I’m learning that those admissions are necessary, because it isn’t about me.

It’s about all of us finding a greater capacity to be truthful. It’s about being able to hold the kind of balanced perspective about ourselves that leads to both great humility and great honour.

It’s an honour to have gifts to contribute to the world. And it’s an honour to be on the receiving end of other people’s gifts, too. We have to show up for each other.

How do we find the courage to do that?

External recognition ebbs and flows. Applause is deeply energising but criticism is also inevitable.

Being constantly oriented towards the reactions of others, tempted to shrink or shape-shift, feeling afraid of both approval and disapproval – it’s exhausting.

It’s no way to live.

We need our own internal compass.

We can’t afford to wait until everyone is clapping before we feel proud of ourselves – otherwise we’ll always be buffeted around, never willing to fully step into the light because our confidence has such shaky foundations.

The time to really celebrate and be proud of ourselves is in the small beginnings and hidden obscurity of the process.

Because the point when no one else seems interested is actually crucial to our success. That’s when we have a chance to understand our own character and motivations.

We can start to quietly believe in the unique value of what we bring to the world.

And recognise ourselves.